Have You Committed an Offense(s) Against the Laws of Writing?

If your story is good enough (I don't necessarily mean the writing, I mean the STORY), then it will eventually find a home in the heart of an agent and/or publisher. And that is because it is ALWAYS about story. Simple: Good stories sell. But your proposal (ms.) is also about the writing. You must exhibit enough writing talent and skill to convince those same agents and editors that you are capable of both constructing a novel and revising, the latter a very likely requirement.

I've heard so much in workshops and author presentations about the "do's and don'ts" of writing for publication, that it's often hard to focus on the most serious 'red flags' in a body of work. Let's take a look at five (5) examples of writing offenses/violations that are sure to relegate your project to the dust bin. They aren't in any order of importance. If you have a penchant for one, you might as well commit them all.

I have such a cheery manner, don't I? Hey, it was born in the pile of rejection letters and slips I received for my writing, particularly in the early stages of submitting to agents. That's right, to agents. I was determined to follow the time-honored path: Get an agent, then let that individual (agency) find me a publisher. Well, that's another story...So, back to the big (worst) five, based on my experience. Oh, and I'd love your comments and other feedback. Keep it clean!

1. Telling, not showing. Here's an example: Shawn walked around the park a few times and decided to sit on the bench to rest.
It sounds fine? Might I suggest this as stronger writing: Shawn paced about the park's magnolia-lined pathways. He spotted a bench in the shade of an elm, back in the quiet. It looked so comfortable after all the walking. A few more trudges and he was there.

2. Shifting POV without signaling. This is sometimes called head hopping. Incorporating multiple POV can be unsettling to the reader. There are two things to consider: Transition and intimacy. Transition; referring to hints or proper setup, i.e. warning the reader that a major shift in POV is about to occur. Without handling this deftly, the writer forces the reader to re-read paragraphs for clarification. This is very distracting, if not downright jarring! Intimacy; referring to a reader's need to know and empathize with characters, and a writer's mistake in spending just brief periods of time with several different characters, rather than long periods of time with one character. Result: Readers knowing several characters slightly, rather than one character intimately.

3. Overuse of adverbs, adjectives. Use just enough to let readers get a picture of your scene. Too many, and you insult their intelligence, as well as, rob them of the imagination factor that adds necessary freedom and satisfaction to the act of reading. Read some Hemingway or Twain for sparseness of both. Read P. G. Wodehouse for adjectives used masterfully.

4. Starting a novel/chapter/scene with anything other than action. That's action, action, action. Begin the above in the middle of the action. Don't tell the reader what's about to happen, surprise them! Immerse them in it! Make them feel like they're in the scene with the character(s). An example: Whuuump. The hay bale struck Tom squarely on the head. His neck snapped and he collapsed under the weight of it, face down onto the concrete floor. Blood spurted crimson red, awash with fragments of tooth and bits of chewing tobacco. A deep-throated cackle came from the shadowy loft above.
See what I mean? :-)

5. Disregarding your protagonist's journey in structuring your plot. You cannot lose sight of the underlying reasons for what drives your character. Fears, joys, resentments, jealousies, needs, flaws, etc. It is important to come back to these within the context of your story scenes, as reminders (I call them justifiers). Like everything else in writing though, don't overdo it. More in the beginning, fewer as the story progresses. Your novel's main character requires arc--Take him/her to the depths, before bringing them back. Build empathy in this way, remembering to maintain consistency. Keep the journey real!

Okay, there you have five that really matter. Tell me about others that are critical to writing success. Bring examples, too. I like to be able to visualize what you see as important. And above all else, never stop writing. Not for a second. Well, um, that's probably not feasible...So, how about an hour a day? Thanks for stopping by!

A Boy Like Danny Rivas

Main character, Danny Rivas, a Tohono O'odham boy from the Desert Southwest near Tucson, Arizona, is the central player in a 3-part saga, 'The Borderlands Trilogy.' The novels; 'Gift of the Desert Dog,' 'Secrets of the Medicine Pouch,' and 'Coyote-meeter's Abyss,' feature his adventurous exploits, supported by grandfather, Joseph, and school chum, Diego 'Digs' Ramirez. Danny is both typical and atypical of today's adolescents on American Indian reservations. He possesses many of the rebellious traits of youth as revealed in these coming-of-age stories, longing to discover what the big-city life of nearby Tucson and Phoenix is all about, while still strongly tied to his Native community and similarly dependent upon his grandfather, Joseph, for support in dealing with a detached and negligent father. He has a lot on his plate, but still manages to grow and mature against the backdrop of a border region where illegal immigration and drug-trafficking combine to create a most dangerous environment.

In the opening novel, Danny is a petulant twelve year-old, at war with himself and his parents, particularly father, Tony, who is away for long periods of time working for a landscaping company in the city. Even when Tony isn't working, his tendancy to drive the back roads with drinking buddies leaves Danny feeling unwanted and abandoned, questioning whether his life has any meaning at all. Not surprisingly then, he handles everyday crises by running away--to a remote desert kih (ceremonial hut) fashioned in the traditional method by his grandfather (with Danny's help). In this place, he feels at peace for reasons he doesn't fully understand, but will slowly come to appreciate in the person of old Joseph. Their decision to seek out the spirits of their ancestors propels them on a desperate journey to the summit of legendary Baboquivari Peak, where a lone coyote teaches Danny the values of loyalty and commitment.

In the sequel, 'Secrets of the Medicine Pouch,' Danny, Joseph, and 'Digs' Ramirez, join forces to uncover the lost portions of an ancient manuscript that reveal the secrets of a desert people. It is one year later and Danny, now a teenager, continues to grow and mature, gaining support and encouragement from Joseph and 'Digs.'

The final novel, 'Coyote-meeter's Abyss,' is a culmination for fourteen year-old Danny, as he discovers many of the unique characteristics that define him as a young man. When an illegal Mexican girl named Lupita rescues Danny and Digs from the bottom of an abandoned mine shaft, they all learn the importance of universal acceptance and respect. These revelations bring him closer to his family and friends.

Through all the adventure and mystery, Danny Rivas emerges as a viable force for positive change and self-fulfillment among the people of his O'odham reservation community. He has arrived as a leader for the future, and the reader senses that nothing can hold him back--no barrier is too strong, no mountain is too high to climb.

 In learning about a boy named Danny Rivas, I hope young readers find in themselves many of the same strengths, appreciating their own unique abilities and talents--That they develop a greater love of family and community--That they come to realize what makes them truly special as Americans.    

       

The Next Big Thing Blog Hop

I was tagged by my friend, Margaret Larsen, of the Words and Works blog for the Next Big Thing blog hop. I agreed to answer questions about my latest middle grade/YA novel in 'The Borderlands Trilogy.' 'Secrets of the Medicine Pouch' is a mystery/adventure for all ages, but written particularly for young readers.

Q: What is the title of your current work?
A: Secrets of the Medicine Pouch, Book Two in The Borderlands Trilogy

Q: Where did the idea come from for the book (series)?
A: This series was born out of my love for indigenous culture, particularly Tohono O'odham tradition of the SW, resulting from years of middle school classroom teaching

Q: What genre does your book fall under?
A: Middle grade/YA fiction, mystery/adventure

Q: Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?
A: 'Danny Rivas' - Layne Alten (The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, Cold Case), 'Diego 'Digs' Ramirez' - Arsalan Ghassemi (Iranian child actor), 'Old Joseph' - Graham Greene (Dances With Wolves)

Q: What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?
A: Wise old Joseph; a Tohono O'odham healer, his grandson, Danny Rivas, and Danny's pal, Diego 'Digs' Ramirez, risk their lives to unravel the secrets of Chief Jonathan Gray Horse's sacred medicine pouch and save their people from destruction

Q: Is your book self-published or represented by an agency?
A: Represented by an agency - Andrew J. Whelchel III, GTR, Inc., Elizabeth, CO

Q: How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?
A: The first draft took four months

Q: What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?
A: 'Touching Spirit Bear,' Ben Mikaelsen   'Hatchet,' Gary Paulsen   'Crossing the Wire,' Will Hobbs

Q: Who or what inspired you to write this series?
A: My inspiration comes from the struggles of O'odham reservation families to provide a better life for their children

Q: What else about your series might pique the reader's interest?
A: The three books in the series: 'Gift of the Desert Dog,' 'Secrets of the Medicine Pouch,' and 'Coyote-meeter's Abyss (coming in 2013), are adventure/mystery stories which take place in the dangerous desert/mountain borderlands area of southern Arizona

Q: Where can readers purchase your books?
A: All titles can be purchased at B&N, B&N.com, Amazon.com, and all independent booksellers (greater Tucson - Mostly Books, Bookman's, Green Valley Book Shop)

Q: How can readers contact you?
A: Visit me at my website: www.robertlhunton.com  Follow me at my blog: www.desertdogblog.blogspot.com   Follow me on Twitter: @DesertDogWriter

Writing That Inspires!

I think the reasons why Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings received her 1939 Pulitzer Prize for writing 'The Yearling' are many--not the least of which is the incredible emotion packed into every single word. I offer the following:

Ma Forrester sat by the side of the bed. She held her apron over her head and rocked herself back and forth. She flung down the apron. She said, 'I've lost my boy. My pore crookedy boy.' She covered herself again and swayed from side to side. She moaned, 'The Lord's hard. Oh, the Lord's hard.'
 Jody wanted to run away. The bony face on the pillow terrified him. It was Fodder-wing and it was not Fodder-wing. Buck drew him to the edge of the bed. 'He'll not hear, but speak to him.' Jody's throat worked. No words came. Fodder-wing seemed made of tallow, like a candle. Suddenly he was familiar. Jody whispered, 'Hey.' The paralysis broke, having spoken. His throat tightened as though a rope choked it. Fodder-wing's silence was intolerable. Now he understood. This was death.

To my way of thinking, Rawlings (although she wrote about the common man in humble surroundings) ranks among the very elite of the world's fiction writers. She absolutely captured in the pages of her work the essence of the American experience, ca 1850. Great writers do that in their own time, for their fellow citizens, and for a universal audience, as well.
I think you have a copy of 'The Yearling.' If you don't, you must obtain one. Re-read this amazing story. And then, if you're like me, take a few days to decompress. :) My post-read experience has never changed--not in the several times that I've read this book. Thank you, Ms. Rawlings. :)

 

 

Adventure fiction never loses its edge!

Total escape!
'Here the way was through utter darkness. The stream was narrow--so narrow that in the blackness I was constantly bumping first one rocky wall and then another as the river wound hither and thither along its flinty bed.

 

Far ahead I presently heard a deep and sullen roar which increased in volume as I advanced, and then broke upon my ears with all the intensity of its mad fury as I swung round a sharp curve into a dimly lighted stretch of water.'

The Warlord of Mars (1919) - Edgar Rice Burroughs

This amazing adventure story was published by A.C. McClurg, Chicago, the same year that my father was born! And it was my father who first introduced me to the novels of this greatest of science fiction/adventure writers. The first Burroughs novel I owned (and it's still in my bookcase) I received for my 10th birthday: 'Tarzan and the Jewels of Opar.'

Burroughs's descriptive passages resonate with me as much today as they ever did. Any writer wishing to work in the adventure genre needs to read Burroughs--pretty much any of his collective works will do.

Happy reading! 

Ben Mikaelsen's 'Touching Spirit Bear'

This excellent YA novel was not included on my earlier list (posted here at the end of last month), but I'm including it now, even though it's publication date is 2001. What I love about this well-written story is the depth to which the author takes his protagonist before attempting to bring him back (experience an epiphany)--a remarkable construct of character that requires a profound understanding of both human nature and the adolescent mind.

A teaching colleague and friend commented recently that 'Touching Spirit Bear' is a book he always has in the back of his mind while recommending/helping students make reading selections. He added that what is required in the case of this title is 'a reader who is mature enough' to handle the tough dialogue and raw message. I agree completely with that assessment. This is not a book for casual pickup, but rather one that might give a particular struggling student a needed 'jolt.' The story intends to grab the reader's attention, and it succeeds with room to spare!

Also woven into the story is the 'spirit bear' theme. Because of how compelling the plot and characters are, readers would be drawn into a closer investigation of the hereditary science behind these remarkable creatures. What exactly is a double-recessive gene? What produces an albino offspring? Since these double het animals do not have pink eyes (are non-albino), how do they differ from the more common albino variety? What are the myths and legends surrounding these animals in the Native/Indigenous world?

Teachers looking for a title to use with students for serious self-assessment and/or to affect change in attitude will find this book quite useful. Particularly beneficial with reluctant boy readers, looking for a no-nonsense, realistic perspective. It carries my highest recommendation.

Northwest 'Spirit Bears'

Here's another example of the double recessive gene in the wild. In this case, a 'spirit bear' of the Pacific Northwest. Again, a rather non-traditional black bear. The indigenous Klamath people of Oregon have ceremonies and stories about this animal.
I can recommend a wonderful fiction read on the subject: Ben Mikaelsen's YA novel, 'Touching Spirit Bear,' will take you on an adventure into the deep woods of the Northwest! It's beautifully written.